In my many years working in a large U.S. corporation, I have often been asked: “How do you manage your work/life balance?” This question usually pops up whenever someone feels burnout from whatever they are doing. This is what my professor shared with me.
Two examples:
Imagine 2 men: one is a lawyer and the other is a salesman.
The lawyer goes to work early in the morning and comes home late at night.
He often has to work on projects during the weekend and has little extra time to spend with his two young sons. However, he loves his job and feels fully engaged at work.
He feels proud of his accomplishments and knows that he is providing well for his family.
The salesman travels extensively for work and is often away from home several days at a time.
When he is home, he divides his time between his family and professional projects he is working on. He too places tremendous value on his ability to provide for his family.
Both men highly value their careers, take pride in their achievements, and feel good about their accomplishments.
You may think that both of these men spend the majority of their time working, their lives are out of balance.
But in reality, these men both enjoy their work and highly value their ability to provide for their families.
They are actually living their lives in alignment with their highest values and are therefore in balance – True balance.
No two people operate from the same balance point.
People are different and contribute in unique ways to society.
No two are exactly the same.
Learning to operate from your balance point requires that you stop comparing yourself to others and start to appreciate the difference that exists among people.
What is right for you and what is right for someone else do not have to be the same.
When you are clear about your own personal values and you decide to live by them, without compromise, you can feel calm and confident, no matter what others do or say.
You can then find and maintain your balance point.
This goes to say, for example, your partner, spouse, etc. if they try to impose their values on you, and you do not share the same values, then the balance point may be compromised – false balance.
Clarifying your values: what is really important to you? – absolute clarity.
Prioritizing your values:
3 different kinds of values:
Character values – usually developed early in life as the result of parental influence and example – What kind of a person am I? – accountable, assertive, committed, curious, disciplined, empathetic, flexible, eloquent, faithful, etc….
Life category values – children, family, parents, social life, work, home, material things, health, community, education, spirituality, travel, career, friends, money.
Values around roles and identities – child, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, friend, teacher, employer, student, husband, wife, leader, employee, partner, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, citizen, devout following, professional, etc.
Imagine if you were to eavesdrop on someone talking about you…
What 2 words do you want the person to describe you?
If you can’t live up to your values – discover what is holding you back?
Everyone has had the experience of being in a stressful situation …an unhappy relationship or a bad job…
You knew deep inside that something wasn’t right.
If the situation were to worsen, the more you will feel forced to compromise your values instead of doing what you knew was right for you and your happiness.
The longer you stayed in that bad situation, the more stressed, unhappy, and actually detached from life and other people. .and become disillusioned…
Do the right thing – TALK it out …you may feel better.
Because whenever you decide to return to your values and get back on track, nature rewards you by giving you a feeling of joy and happiness…
I think the same applies to BURNOUT…
QUESTION:
Building Emotionally Strong Leaders – this is how I envision my leaders will lead the team into the future –
Using Four Ways to energize your life:
- You can do more of some things
- You can do less of other things
- You can start doing something that you are not doing today
- You can stop doing certain things altogether
In time management and personal management, whenever you feel frustrated or unhappy for any reason… ask yourself this question:
What should I do more of, do less of, start or stop? You can always find the answers somewhere within yourself.
I have learned from my professor and am sharing this article with you. Please do not get burnout by pursuing happiness with a false hope to achieve work-life balance. Find the answers within yourself by writing down what you value.
